NOV 13, 2012 ROTARY IN REVIEW:
Lt. Col. Mark Weber
Faced with terminal cancer, Mark Weber's objective is to "live with purpose and die with dignity." His philosophy of life has been outlined in a book titled “Tell My Sons.”
Marc Hadley and Al Uniacke greeted guests. Seating was a new procedure with excellent results for good fellowship – members and guests were given randomly chosen numbers and sat at the table with that number to meet and get to know others at random. Now 1/3 of the club consists of new members, so this procedure should help old and new to mix and bond more quickly.
With President Dan McKeown presiding, David Laird led the singing of God Bless America with Doug Hartford delightfully at the piano with a dramatic flourish of notes at the close. Carol Bufton reminded our entire contingency in her invocation.
Geoff Kaufmann provided tantalizing glimpses of what will be available at the silent action at the Holiday Party on Dec 6th – make your reservation now! Bo Aylin asked for volunteers in this year’s bell ringing. One day is fully subscribed already but volunteers are needed for the 10th, 12th, and 13th of December. Bo reminded us that volunteers are good fundraisers and always attract more donations than staff.
Bill Handschin gave us an overview of foundation month. To date the club has contributed over $1.4 million to the Rotary Foundation. Now, he said, we must continue the tradition of generosity. The Club has points to distribute and will add some to those requesting them to make up a full Paul Harris Fellowship and will use 4,000 points to award Paul Harris Fellowships to 4 people selected at random by a lottery from among those who give $25 or more this year.
Using points she accumulated from previous donations to the RI Foundation, Sue Cammack topped off and made possible Paul Harris Fellowships, and presented them to, Ed Coleman, Jason DeKeuster, and Scott House.
It was a good time - daughter on winning flag football team, shameless self-promotion of good works, passage of school referendum - so many dollars were collected in Happy Dollars thanks to the walking around of Sarah Kolar.
Jim Kosmo introduced the speaker, Lt. Col. Mark Weber.
Mark was born and raised in Saint Paul and served in the Army. He was a chief assistant to General David Petraeus in Iraq. Two years ago after a series of mis-diagnoses, Mark was diagnosed with stage 4 intestinal cancer, which prevented him from going on assignment to Afghanistan. Major surgery failed. He is on his 4th trial chemotherapy drug. He said matter-of-factly “I am dying. I can hear the clock ticking.”
His new mission has been to live with purpose/to die with dignity. He has written a book for his sons called Tell My Sons with a forward by Robin Williams and endorsements by Donald Rumsfeld and Walter Mondale among others. The text is available at tellmysons.com. Mark’s rule in life has become “just drive on” – don’t dwell on it, don’t be sad, just move forward.
One step that he said bothered others was his decision to go back to work for the Minnesota National Guard. Why not spend all your few precious remaining moments at home with your family? Mark reacted: how abnormal for a working person to be at home 24/7? The normal thing to do in life is to work; that’s what I am going to do. To live with purpose is to continue to serve. This is to rise above.
First, he named his condition so that he could more easily talk about it with his 3 sons and to himself. He calls it “Buford.” He says everybody has their own “Buford;” what matters is not the burden but how you deal with it. Adversity is not to be avoided. There is strength in the encounter with adversity if you engage with it. What can be a curse can be a blessing too; it all depends on your attitude.
Consider the butterfly: it needs the adversity of struggle to get out of the cocoon for its wings to gain strength and let it fly. If you take it out prematurely, the wings will drop off and it won’t fly.
When in adversity, he advocates 4 virtues:
Perspective: you may have it bad, but others have it worse. Don’t mope.
Perseverance: never give up, find a way. You can be suicidal but why? Don’t just bang your head against the door; do critical thinking.
Open to new thinking: learn from others about your condition, learn their point of view but have your own; engage with your professional medical staff as part of the curative team. Mark presented some hypotheses on his condition which proved to be right when the doctors and the tests had come up with no good answers as to what was going wrong inside him.
Do what other say cannot be done. Act; if the Titanic is going down, rearranging the deck chairs is not a waste of time. On Veterans Day he was out with 100 volunteers renovating a school in Minneapolis.
Mark was asked about faith, about belief in a supreme being. He replied that faith is crucial. He didn’t want to get into specific believes, but have faith that God can be an inspiration in life – that we can do what we have been given the power to do. People ask his very well-meaning “Are your saved?” He sidesteps the question as it is their belief. He thinks maybe faith is the dog and religion the tail. One is supposed to wag the other.
Faith gives rise to virtue, which comes to us in all shapes and sizes. We know it when we see it. It is the good feeling when we do it or see it done. And we all feel a little bit bad when it is not done. We have an inkling, a little bird on our shoulder chirrping.
When asked about General Petraeus, Mark replied he had contacted the General on Friday when the scandal broke and received a reply that Petraeus had let others down and had no excuse but now had to do something to make it right.
Mark received a standing ovation from members and guests.
When President Dan gave Mark the usual gift of appreciation, Mark quipped “No, not a Paul Harris Fellow?” Carole Kralicek spoke out from the back of the room “Your Paul Harris Fellow will soon be in the mail!” Carole will make sure of that with her ability to allocate points.