FEB 10, 2015 ROTARY IN REVIEW:
ADHD?

Posted by Joe Beckmann 
on Feb 10, 2015
 
President Elect Carla Hauge, perhaps drunk with power, began the meeting by vigorously striking the bell.  She then compounded this felonious conduct by inciting those in attendance to a likely violation of CAN‑SPAM, or some equally odd acronym laden law, by urging all with cell phones to send a text to her mother!
 
The Menu.
 
Apparently unafraid of Kanye rushing the stage, Bill Given (piano) pounded out fully nine notes of the introduction to “America.”  David Laird eventually interrupted this stirring solo by singing over it, although in fairness, Bill did not seem to care one way or another. 
 
The Inspirational Minute.
 
Bob Cardinal was responsible for the “inspirational minute.”  One of your scribe’s teens recently self-diagnosed himself over the Internet with ADHD.**  Your scribe may have caught this when he shared a bottle of pop with the lad over the weekend. 
 
Intensely focused on the “minute” for about the first 18 seconds, your Scribe then began to wonder rhetorically if “minute” is a metaphor for the length of this part of the program.  Then he though, “I think Bob goes on the same well regarded annual ‘silent retreat’ each year your scribe attends.  This inspirational minute must be awesome.”  Then your Scribe thought, “Oohh, string beans!”  At some point your Scribe may (or may not) have muttered, “Amen.”  (Look, meatloaf!)
 
Appetizers.
 
Eventually, President Elect Carla regained the podium, thanking Mike Crowe and Al Zdrazil for their service as door greeters.  She introduced your Scribe (Joe Beckman), with the gratuitous editorial comment, “If you haven’t read his notes, you should.  They’re funny.”  Your Scribe was either impressed with how polished Carla’s powers of flattery are, or distressed as how low the bar is set for our soon to be Fearless Leader.  Mary Britts relieved the overall awkwardness by introducing the day’s guests. 
 
President Elect Carla next reminded Rotarians of the following:
  • Be sure to like Saint Paul Rotary on Facebook (Your Scribe did already, so please, “Cool, BROWNIES.”)
  • Think membership!
  • Thursday’s Fellowship Breakfast Speaker was: Rotarian Mike Crowe of Crowe Construction Management.(See what happens when your Scribe has attention deficit issues?)
     
Next, Ed Coleman reminded everyone for the near final time of the Wild Outing on Tuesday, February 24.  Tickets that ordinarily sell for $100 each are $75, with $20 of that going to the Rotary Foundation.  Less than 20 tickets remaining, so get yours quickly!
 
Jay Pfaender promoted the February 17 speaker, former Secretary of State Mark Ritche.  Mary Britts  was emcee for “happy dollars.”  Your Scribe was happily filling his desert plate at the buffet, and is pressed to turn in this report.  As such, he will remain in the third person but not make up anything what transpired.  Please try to work through the disappointment of no report on this aspect of the meeting.
 
The Main Course. 
 
Donovan Schwichtenberg introduced our speaker, Bob Hoffman, who talked about “Keeping Minnesota Competitive.”  Bob, who is from Renville (a town so small and remote that rumor has it has not yet made it onto Google Earth) talked at length about “outstate” . . . er . . .  “Greater Minnesota.” 
 
Greater Minnesota has a population with a higher average age (57) than the metro area, and there begins its challenges.  It has a lot to offer, however, beginning with lower overhead.  Prospects for entrepreneurs, particularly in south and southwest Minnesota, are great. 
 
There are challenges, of course.  Broadband is not as prevalent.  Transportation presents is sometimes not as ideal.  Housing can seem scarce.  But there are opportunities!
 
Bob then introduced his colleague, Dan Doran, from the Greater Minnesota Partnership.  Dan pointed out that metro suffers from “monopolies,” in particular businesses that unilaterally cease to support older technology.  For example, in “close ring” cities (e.g., Annandale) the cable company will not bring the cable out to your new home, but it will sell you Dish Network. 
 
Greater Minnesota has a job vacancy rate of nearly 55%, and the lifestyle should attract younger people seeking a quality of life option.  To seize the opportunity to score here, businesses should begin to, as Mr. Hoffman said, “Skate to where the puck is going!”
 
President Elect Carla closed the meeting making a donation to the Read With Me Program on behalf of Mr. Hoffman and Mr. Doran, as well as a coin with the Four Way Test.  She then led all members in reciting the test before ending the meeting at 1:10.  (Somewhere, long deposed president Jim Kosmo is either rolling over in his metaphorical grave, or on his recliner to tan the back of his legs.) 
 
JPB, Scribe